Thursday, January 2, 2014

THE CRUCIAN CARPER - A NOVEL IN 666 PARTS


“Whoop. Whoop. Whoop.” It was the sound of a police siren. Never a welcome shriek. Always attention-commanding. One hundred twenty-three decibels of pure heart-racing, blood-pressure-rising menace. And usually a sign that you’ve done something – at least on the surface of it – wrong. The consciousness of that fact making it even more dreadful. But I had scanned King Street for police cars before I took “sireen” as they call it here. I had just taken the shot heard ‘round the territory.’” So I was shocked, shocked say to feel 29,000 or my 30,000 ear hairs instantly flatten out. The former Senator/former peace officer was talking animatedly to two women. He was smiling.  had not noticed my dull silver finish 1988 Daihatsu Charade when I was initially stuck in traffic right in front of the 200-year-old stone staircase with “U.S. Probation Office” written above the door where he was standing outsideI powered down my automatic windows and snapped the picture as former Police Captain Adelbert M. Bryan jumped off of the limestone brick landing down to the black asphalt street below and began chasing after me on foot. Bryan had been alerted by the two ladies he was casually chatting up in front of Probation. I got one shot of him not looking at the camera. And when we developed the black and white film later I saw in the second shot that the two women were pointing me out. Not unlike that famous photo of the MLK assassination aftermath. Luckily, there was a break in the one-way traffic and I was able to speed off. But before I could get separation, I heard the blaring siren of a Virgin Islands Police Department cruiser and saw the rotating beacons of the cherry lights that indicated that I was to pull over on the Christiansted waterfront, right in front of the old Chase Manhattan Bank. I had no choice. I pulled over onto the yellow diagonal painted lines that meant “No Parking.”

     Assessing the situation, I stuffed my Nikon camera under the passenger seat of the five-door Korean hatchback. And I jammed the button to power up the passenger-side windows. Almost as quickly, Bryan was leaning down on the passenger-side glass (as it was going up) and halting its progress. He was to my right, along with a tall, severe-looking caramel-colored woman who turned out to be his attorney, Lisa Moorhead. To my left were the two V.I.P.D. officers. They did not appear to be pleased.

     “You know you have to ask a person’s permission before you take their picture,” one of them, the Crucia-Rican one, said. He had a pockmarked face like Noriega. They say here that God doesn’t like ugly. Right now, either did I.

     In the background, to my right, I heard Attorney Moorhead seconding the motion.

     “That’s right. That’s the law,” she offered. But I knew that wasn’t correct. Good thing  the newspaper I worked for got my press credentials updated every year by the police department. I pulled out a photo ID and handed it to the silent cop, a light-skinned black man. He handed the laminated photo ID perfunctorily to his partner. Good thing they didn’t ask for my driver’s license and registration. Because I had neither.

     “This don’t mean nuttin,’ the Vieques-born cop said.

     “Actually, it does,” I retorted. “It is a legitimate press badge issued by your own police department. I am a credentialed reporter on a public street in America taking a photo of a public figure as part of my job.”

     That really threw them. They didn’t know what to make of that. I myself was surprised at such directness of thought and boldness of speech emanating from my person.

     “But you still have to ask the man’s permission first,” the verbal cop with the pockmarked face said. The taller one nodded. And Moorhead echoed in the background.

     “That’s right,” she insisted. “It’s the law.”

     Meanwhile, unbeknownst to me at the time, Bryan was reaching into the car to try to grab my camera. I saw him out of the corner of my eye and pushed it further under the seat – out of his reach – because although he had stopped the window from going all the way up, there was not enough space for him to lean his body all the way into the car. Later I realized that he had broken the mechanism on that side the powers the window. But right now I was concerned about all the glass on the hatchback. Bryan was pacing around my car, looking for a way in.

     “I’m afraid you’re going to have to turn over your film,” the cop with the pineapple skin said.

     “Well, then you’re going to have to arrest me,” I repeated. “Because I’m not turning my camera over to you.

     “We don’t want your camera,” the cop said with a Spanish accent. “We just want the film inside of it. In fact, just expose the film in front of us and you can keep the film. How’s that?”

     “I can’t do that,” I said emphatically. “That film is property of the newspaper I work for. I need my editor’s permission to destroy it. I’m afraid that you’ll have to arrest me.”

     “Look now,” he reasoned. We’re just trying to do our job, too. No need to be difficult. You heard the Attorney tell you what the law is in this matter. She wouldn’t steer you wrong. Now just pop that film out of the camera and we can all be on our way.”

     A crowd had started to form around the scene. I saw this as a good thing. Witnesses. We were ironically twenty feet away from the Scale House that Virgin Islands Tourism operated out of, and I noticed one of the girls who I knew from the office had come out to look and see what was happening. Later, she told me that she figured I must be the most wanted fugitive in the history of the United States, to be treated like that in public. And the silent cop had gone back to the squad car and was talking on his police radio. I didn’t like the prospects of more officers on the scene. I only had two eyes. And I was going cross-eyed trying to keep track of four people moving around the car as it was. I was a cloudy day, but I was perspiring heavily in the 90-degree heat. The adrenaline pumping through my veins made my neck feel like I had gills, with no slits to breathe out of.

     During the commotion, the cops never once asked me to exit the vehicle, which would have made it easy for them to seize my camera. I sat in the driver’s seat the whole time, stonewall-dealing from my gray fabric bucket seat from a position of dominance. Or so I thought at the time. They must have known by now that I was at least pigheaded enough not to turn over my film without a “fight.” But my resolve was weakening as the mute officer was walked back to us with the stilted steps of “orders to be followed.” He looked up at the people craning their heads and necks out of windows on Church Street and from the Hamilton Mews. The crowd that had gathered on the street was now up to twenty or thirty people.

     “We want you to come to the police station with us,” the taller cop said after sighing first. The sphinx cop could speak after all. The Attorney seemed happy with the directive. The shorter cop not so much so. “But you can drive in your own car. We’ll follow behind of you.”

     “Behind of you” was a local expression that meant the same thing as the same phrase without the word “of” in it. It was one of those rare colloquialisms that was not a syncopated form of Creole-English. Most of the patois they spoke here was abbreviated and short on words – I thought – because it the omnipresent heat stifled loquaciousness.
     On the one hand, I was hopeful, if not pleased. If they arrested me and towed my vehicle to Police Headquarters in Estate Golden Grove ten miles away, it would be pretty easy for them to say that “vandals” or “thieves” had broken into my car and stolen my camera while it was in police custody – and I was safely “detained.” All’s they’d have to do is break one of the windows and take it. Then I was not just out the film, but a $1,200 investment that I had bought half-off because the hurricane had struck four months ago. That’s why I was taking the picture of the ex-Senator. He was on trial for looting-related charges following the 1989 storm. He, the former police captain, claimed that he did not know if was against the law to take building supply items from Caribe Home Center without paying for them. I didn’t care what his stated position was – or what the facts were in his case – I just knew that his federal trial was slated to begin in just a few weeks – and here he was whooping it up, casual as could be on the premises of the same U.S. District Court building where he was about to face the music – it was a natural-born front page news photo. That was. If I could get the camera and its contents back to the daily St. Croix Avis where I worked. And even if I did. There was no guarantee that the photos I had taken would even come out. They could be blurry. It was stock ___ film. The cheapest film money could buy – back when cameras still took film. So nothing was a given. And all of that taking for granted that I could get out of my current quasi-legal detention. The precinct station was a short distance away. That was probably where they’d take me. We could turn right on Hospital Street, right onto Company Street – and then five blocks down to Market Street – where we’d turn right. What would happen after that was what I was more than a little worried about. Then I’d have to exit my vehicle. And the camera would be in my car unattended. Perfect opportunity for the “random vandal” scenario. I’d need to hedge my bet if the film was going to be protected.

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