A NEVER-ENDING TAIL

http://themoderatevoice.com/195149/a-never-ending-tail/

 

FROM THE DON’T TELL RICHARD GERE DEPT.

TOKYO GOES GAGA FOR HAMSTER BUTTS

VIEW FROM THE VIRGIN ISLANDS

 

By John McCarthy

Moderate Voice Columnist
 

     This column went away for a few days as I tried to wrap my head around the Japanese fab fad of “hamuketsu.”

     Jean Michel Basquiat became famous as a graffiti artist by writing “Plush safe, he think” all over Manhattan in the 1980’s.

     Only in the land that spawned green Godzilla could the plush rear ends of hamsters be set up on a pedestal worthy of praise.

     Obviously Tokyo’s national culture is a visual one because cartoons in the form of anime serve as virtual porn for the Samurai set.

     Considering I live in a country where “Meth,” “sniffing glue,” “raccoon hunting” and “butt implants” are at the top of Google searches on a state-by-state basis, according to Estately – I won’t be quick to judge the Japanese and what constitutes their eye candy.

     Times are tough in the United States – money is tight – I started calling it “The Great Depression II: The Sequel” (sequels are always worse than their predecessors) in 2008 only to be drowned out by the national media who called 2008-2013 “The Great Recession” which is considered more PC.

     About 62 percent of American households have a dog or a cat as opposed to 25 percent of Japanese households – where interior living space – and cultural differences (pets have to be well cared for in death there) make owning a pet more challenging.

     Japanese artist Takashi Murakami coined the term “superflat” to explain his country’s Pop Art preoccupation with the anime arts, so it seems only logical that the latest thing added to their pop culture appreciation would be 2-D pictures of “hamster buttocks.”

     “The great thing about hamuketsu is that it is delightfully cute,” Takeshi Takahashi told The Wall Street Journal. “I can’t stop smiling when I see those butts.”

     Takahashi’s company Basilico recently published a 96-page book about “Hamuketsu” trying to explain the trend. It was released on March 12 and has already sold 7,000 copies. A like-minded book, “Kawaisa-ni Monzetsu Hamuketsu” or “Hamuketsu-So Cute You Could Faint” was released on April 19 and has sold 30,000 copies so far and is already in reprints.

     Sekai Bunka Publishing Inc. spokesperson Yukako Minami says the pictures of hamster butts “sooth the hearts of readers.” The Japanese people say the plush tail pics are “kawaii” or “loveable and cute.”

     Which makes me wonder how the Great Depression II is affecting the Japanese – the Great Depression (The Original) did not affect Japan but the great recession hit Tokyo in the second quarter of 2008 like a tsunami.

     A friend of mine who was born in middle Europe and raised in Israel and Canada (and is also a transplanted Californian and a bona fide world traveler) when he told me that he considered Japan to be the most civilized place on Earth.

     Meanwhile, stateside, Maine googled “Cat pics” more than anything else on the Internet while New Hampshire searched most for “Free Kittens.”

     There was no listing for how United States territories like Puerto Rico, Guam, American Samoa and the U.S. Virgin Islands scoured the Internet – the Estately record is a blank slate – which may be a blessing in disguise for those areas so dependent on tourism – although “nudist colonies” flourish in the Caribbean – and “Nudist Colony” was the subject that piqued the interest most of all people living in South Carolina.

     Massachusetts was desperately seeking “Canadian men,” Rhode Islanders are interested in “Beer Pong,” Alaskans in “Mail Order Brides” and New Mexicans in “UFOs.” The fifty states represent an Area 51 of unaccountable interests nationwide – but what nobody seemed to notice is how different each state was from the next when it came to what to obsess over.

     So what I take from this perfect storm of information age trivia is that all people – all over the world – look to animals, or representations of animals – in order to feel more calm about a cataclysmic world that is out of their control.

     About 80 percent of America is wired for the Internet, so this compilation by Estately should represent people who are better off during this dread spectacle of the Zombie Apocalypse, but some of the online queries could have come from Internet Cafes, Starbucks and public libraries nationwide.

     According to a popular art book, Richard Gere was given an Andy Warhol painting and had it proudly displayed in his home. One day when Gere learned in part how it was produced and what essential bodily fluids may have been brought to bear on it – he burned it in his fireplace in a fit of rage and disgust.

     I think when the Officer and Gentleman finds out about this latest rodent craze in Japan he is likely to have more terms of endearment for it than not.

 

 

© 2014 John Francis McCarthy/Secret Goldfish Publishing House, LLC

 

John McCarthy is an investigative reporter, artist and photojournalist based in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Please send questions and comments to: johnfmccarthy807@msn.com

IT'S ANY SOMEBODY'S HORSE RACE IN 2016

Why Jeb Bush Won’t Run 4 The Triple Crown

A Clinton Always Beats A (round) A Bush

The View From The Virgin Islands

 

By John McCarthy

Moderate Voice Columnist

 

The skull and bones have been rolled.

The die has been cast – and Jeb Bush is definitely running in 2016 – or is he?

And even if he is, as Ronald Reagan once said: “you can run, but you can’t hide” (from your brother and your Dad’s record, that is.

So the question two and a half years before the election becomes: which American political family are you most nostalgic for?

The people transplanted from Hope, Arkansas to Chappaqua, New York are betting that Americans want to re-live those moments when we were all movin’ on up to “the East Side, to a deluxe apartment in the sky” rather than the current “income inequality” flatlining in Hoboken.

Soviet-style, President Clinton I is rewriting his history with a series of speeches around the country arguing that his campaign for the highest office in the land was really about “income inequality.” And whether you are a Republican or a Democrat, the math behind the Clinton Mystique is inarguable: Ronald Reagan created 77,000 new jobs: Bill Clinton created 7.7 million new good jobs.

While the Great Communicator (formerly of Bedtime for Bonzo fame) was arguing against “welfare queens” and in favor of ketchup as a school lunch program vegetable, Slick Willie was ordering pepperoni pizza at 3 a.m. and trying to devise new ways to tweek the American economy.

Meanwhile, while Clinton I is making the rounds stemcasting, George II is giving interviews to CNN saying that Jeb should run and that “if you need some advice, give me a call.” call.” The Bushes believe Jeb’s biggest obstacle to the White House is his own mother’s quote about “we’ve had enough Bushes.” “I think this is a great American country, and if we can’t find more than two or three families to run for high office, that’s silly.”

But I think Jeb’s biggest obstacle might be how America perceives him, if you saw the Oliver Stone movie “W.” you know quite well that George II was a fighter, whereas his father George H.W. was a fighter pilot. So if you know only one thing about Jeb it is that he is a lover, not a fighter, as evidenced by H.W.’s (George I’s) controversial reference to Jeb’s “brown babies” which was a not-so-subtle reference to the fact that the Bushes are a multicultural family because Mrs. Jeb is from Mexico and mother, father and children are bilingual.

But the dark horse in the campaign is likely to be Mitt Romney, whose family has hedged its own bets in the G.O.P. multicultural sweepstakes by Madonna-esque adopting their own child of color. MSNBC host Melissa Harris-Perry nearly lost her job after joking that Romney’s African-American grandson might one day marry the future child of Kanye and Kim, maybe thinking that Washington, D.C. is north by North West of Salt Lake City?

But Mitt says he won’t run if Jeb runs, and if Chris Christie runs and Jeb doesn’t, it opens up the possibility of an “anyone but Romney” campaign against (since the Supreme Court is currently split on the issue) a haven’t-got-a prayer-since-somebody-closed-the-Bridgegate campaign. And if Jeb does go for the glory, after several years of inactivity, he might want to know the price of a gallon of milk – and be careful not to wear a watch in any televised debates.

Everyone knows that Hillary is a fighter and not a lover, so as a progressive she comes off hawkish until talk dovetails to Benghazi, after which there was talk that Clinton II bio-engineered Chelsea’s new addition (and we’re not talking about the Clinton booming economy Bill). Republicans will get to test Hillary’s recovery from an aneurysm (and her doctor’s excuse) when talk shifts liberally to Libya.

The talk of low poll numbers, which President Obama himself acknowledged this weekend at the White House correspondent’s dinner, made me think about President Jimmy Carter, who had until now, been left out of this column, but not forgotten as I wondered if Barry is embroiled in a new form of high anxiety “malaise.” And if he is, is it HIS fault, or ours?

The one resounding piece of news to come out of today’s news cycle was that Americans by and large favor Hillary Clinton for President over President Jeb Bush (no George in the name at all – might be problematic if you are a betting person) by a margin of 53-41 percent, a political landslide, according to a poll released today by NBC/The Wall Street Journal.

After Barack Obama resoundingly won a second term as President, Rush Limbaugh said postpartum that his re-election was again a referendum on President George W. Bush (George II). If another Clinton is elected to the highest office in the land, it might well be a referendum on President Bill Clinton’s legacy in the Oval Office.

In a country where traditionally father has always known best, perhaps a Hillary Clinton candidacy represents a change for the better, with a nostalgic return to 1990’s-style prosperity for all.

But it’s all water under the bridge until November 2016, in the meantime, there are two more legs to be won this year if a horse is going to win the Triple Crown. For the Clintons, that eventual victory represents a double crown. But it is still far from a foregone conclusion.

  

© 2014 John Francis McCarthy/Secret Goldfish Publishing House, LLC

John McCarthy is an investigative reporter, artist and photojournalist based in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Please send questions and comments to: johnfmccarthy807@msn.com